Ukraine Bound

I haven’t posted in awhile. I was on some medication for several weeks that made my fatigue even more intense. I seemed to barely function over the last couple of months. I have recently switched meds and feel much more normal now. Praise the Lord!

Tomorrow I fly to Kiev, Ukraine to spend about a month with my husband doing ministry. My husband works with a ministry that trains missionaries to the former Soviet Union in the Russian language so they’ll be more effective in their ministry. The ministry is going over to Kiev this summer to assist missionaries who are currently struggling with the language. My husband and I are responsible for the logistics of this.

Over the last several months I have struggled with going. I am an unofficial member of the ministry. I’m on disability. I struggle with walking long distances and standing for long periods of time because of my bad bones. I wrestle with chronic fatigue. Who in their right mind would want me to be part of the team? I spent two years as an overseas missionary many years ago and then I was healthy. I could zip here and there and not even think about it. It’s been almost 6 years since I got sick and I haven’t been overseas since. It’s scary. What if my fatigue and pain issues keep me from being useful? This trip is a little bit of a test to see how I can cope with the rigors of overseas travel. What if I fail miserably?

My challenge has been to be convinced that it is God who has called me. He is in His right mind and He will be faithful to what He has called. Of course I can go through the logical reasons, but to be truly convinced in my soul that He will work His good purposes through me, a physically weaker version of my old self is the question. The apostle Paul’s words have come with new meaning as I think of my physical state when he wrote, “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty…I can do all this through Him who gives me strength.” (Phil. 4:12, 13)

So I’m now looking forward to seeing how He’ll be strong in my weakness. I’m praying for Him to use me to be a blessing, in whatever way He sees fit. He hasn’t led me to go along with my husband for no reason. I may not have a direct purpose, but thanks to God, I now have vision for Him to use one even such as I.